It's all about you,....

I now realize what it is that I lack. It's not alcohol, antidepressants, nicotine, but praise. Praise, not of myself, but the freedom to praise God as I see fit. The only things I do constantly are not things that God would condone, but I don't know how to stop. That's the thing.... I don't know.... I need your help Lord. Please.......

A Knight in Need

I understand....

I think I'm starting to get it. I'm starting to understand what the Lord has been trying to impressing upon my heart. The life that the church should have they are afraid to have because of their fear of being of the world. But why should we be afraid of the world that we are supposed to be seasoning? I'm starting to get it. Right now, as I type, I'm sitting in the house of the Lord at my friend's church understanding what I should've understood when I was at Oakwood. Maybe I was too young....too immature to get it.

A Knight in Disguise

Routine and Redundancy

Why is it that everyone looks for a way from the mundaneness of existence when life has to be routine? There are certain things that are routine, such as work and school, but I think that it's when we as a people start looking for something that isn't routine is when we get into trouble. When husbands/boyfriends/wives/girlfriends look for something out-of-routine so to speak, that's when problems usually arise. How can we solve this on an individual level? I think that we need to find a way to make the redundancy enjoyable. We are all born with an imagination and a conscience. The question is what's the balance that the two share in a person's mind, whether male or female. If your imagination takes precedence, then the problems will show up sooner than later and more frequent. If your takes precedence, then the problems will come later, but in a much different way. That's how I'm looking at it.

Woman's conscience v.s. man's imagination: when she doesn't budge, it leads to problems because she's pushing him away and he's tired of trying.

For some reason, there are some people, whether men or women, that can bend or compromise more than others.

Are we afraid of routine? Does redundancy scare us more than death???

A Knight in Disguise

Time and how to use it

We always wonder whether we utilize our time wisely or do we squander it like the Prodigal Son squandered his inheritance. As sinners and humans, we wonder whether people are worth our time or not. The fact of the matter is we shouldn't be in control of that because at the blink of an eye, people can change. I am a culprit of wasting time and it's a hard habit to break. Maybe one day i'll get it.....

A Knight in Confusion

The Man You Don't Want To Be

Have you ever noticed a man in the street screaming at his wife? Or the man beating his child? Or the guy cheating on his girlfriend/wife?The first thing you say is " I don't want to be that guy." You don't wanna be that man, that abuser, that child molester. You want to be an upstanding citizen and a defender of what's good in this world. But what happens when your wife has no time to make love, no cuddle, caress. It's all about making ends meet. The problem is that making ends meet doesn't keep the love flowing. It doesn't keep the marriage stable. Love does. So, men take the time to love your wives, your girlfriends. Stop looking for the jumpoffs in life, because soon you'll look and you'll be the man that you didn't want to be: lying, cheating, and abusing. Be careful men.....

A Knight of Counsel

I wish

I wish....
I wish my sadness would fade away
I wish that tomorrow would be today
I wish my heart didn't hurt so much
I wish that everything would fade....

Pain takes over and consumes entirely
I wish I could make it a separate part of me
I wish my sins would leave me alone
I wish that the grave was my home.

All of my wishes never come true
But I wish some of them did
I wish for happiness
I wish for peace of mind
I wish for success
I wish I could leave it all behind

I wish....

A Tired Knight

Sniper 1:Code Red

I think it is about time...
i think that I have reached the point where other people's stresses are going to HAVE to take a back seat for once. I have always thought of other people even when my own problems should have taken precedence. Well..... that time has passed and this time has arrived. I feel sorry for people that are going to call me cold-hearted, but that's the way that it's going to have to be. It's Code Red ladies and gentlemen, and in my book that isn't a good thing. no one's happiness will supercede mine anymore. This white knight has put on a new color, a new rage, a new set of problems. With that has come with new things to stress on. I am officially too old to console people anymore. I'm sorry.... I'm sorry if I have offended anyone, but that's how I have to be.

A Knight Enraged