A rock and a hard place is where I stand. I don't know what to do anymore. My heart is on fire and not in the good way. This heat wave is nothing compared to what I feel. I don't know how to feel right now. This is a place I thought I would never be again. I am torn, to say the least, between bogus rules and real wants. My heart....... but I digress, for I sound a bit selfish. She doesn't understand how much her words flow through my everything. She doesn't know how the mere utterance for happiness from her lips sends cascades of joy through my veins, through my body. The pain that is here now isn't going to go away until I leave this place.... AGAIN. I left because I can't stand the fact that I have to feel this way. I left because there was a better place for me and it was the best place to be, up under her. I left because my heart and my soul agreed that I would live another year by making this decision. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not gonna fall off the planet when I now have a purpose. I have to shore up and stockpile my patience back to where it needs to be, because I'm going to need it. I don't know what life has in store for me, but I know that the caretaker of my heart was sent. I don't know how those who read this will take it, but I know you all have felt this way at one point or another. Love is a hard emotion to battle with. It doesn't blind you, as people would have you believe because if that were the case, John 3:16 wouldn't be what it is. Love is an entity which resides within us all. We sometimes make the mistake and use it irresponsibly, but it's true to us nonetheless. The love that resides in me was sent by He who knows my afflictions. I love Him and I love her. I know what I have to do now.
TBC.......
