Looking in the right places...

I was talking to my namesake and in 10 minutes, I learned more than I had anticipated. I learned that my mindset in relationships was the wrong one. I believe that had I learned this sooner, I would've broken less hearts and I wouldn't have been so depressed for a lot of my life. I learned that if you believe in what you have and not search in the wreckage of other places for something better, you will save yourself a world of heartache, stress, pain, and grief. If you look in the right places, follow your heart and not your loins, you will realize that where you are is where you should stay. The man/woman you are with can be the one you will be with. If you think about it, the relationship that you are in can work if you wanted it to. Not only can it work, it can flourish as well. If that doesn't work, then it's just not meant to be. The problem is that no one wants to put in the time required to compete the task. All of us, me included, want instant results. We don't want to wait and see what develops. We just want the end result without putting in the work. Well, now the responsibility rests on us........

To look in the right places...

Singleness-Can you dig it?

There are feelings and emotions and things you can't quite put your finger on, but sometimes you aren't sure whether they will take you. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. So what do you choose??? There's always Singleness..... No one really wants that. Why you ask? Because no one really wants to be alone. Take it from someone who knows all too well. Singleness is a lifestyles which relies on complete faith in God, who will supply your needs. It isn't something easy, but the religious payout is different...

Singleness....... can you dig it???

Is perfection attainable in relationships??

What is this thing called perfection??? Does it really exist? I have seen perfection in work-related situations, but in regards to relationships, is perfection really attainable? Should it be attainable? In my heart, the thought of relational perfection is unheard of. I don't believe in that when it refers to matters of the heart. If you attempt to mesh the two, the problems that will occur will be astronomical. It's simple: look at how life will be if you were a perfectionist, the stress will be up to your neck. Can you imagine the headache that will pop up if you try and make your relations perfect? Painful is an understatement in that regard. So now, after reading this and doing your own contemplations, ask yourself....

Is perfection attainable in relationships???

Patterns

In every person's life, we all have patterns that we follow, whether we like to or not. Certain things that are habitual, even forceful that overruns our lives. We all have our vices that take over. What we need to do is understand our own patterns and discern whether those patterns are beneficial or destructive to your life. The problem is that we can almost always see other peoples' patterns and attempt to instruct them on how to correct it. What we need to do is turn our lenses towards ourselves, as hard as that may be, and work on ourselves. I'm at fault for that, consistently. I'm always minding other peoples' patterns and not my own. The best bet is to look at yourself before attempting to look at others and attempt to find......

your Patterns

Conflicted...

I feel like I'm being pulled in so many different directions....

Which one to choose?????

Which path to take????

All I know is that I don't want to cause any pain.....

Then why do I feel like I'm going insane!!!!

My heart, soul, and mind are all going batty. All confused because I don't know..... Some people say that "IDK" isn't a response, but the truth of the matter is that it is. A person reaches a point in his/her life when they really don't know. What am I supposed to do?? There isn't a rule book on life and emotions and relationships and people and love and pain. There's only experience, and even that's a hassle because so many people become "damaged goods" because of experience.

My heart feels like a wet rag that was never hung out because there was always something to clean..... wet, used, discarded, unwanted..... but yet people act as though they do...... but the memories come back..... of all the pain...... the tears, shed for no reason....... the anger, resentment, torment, abuse.... all because of emotions that we can't understand......

I AM CONFLICTED.........

What's really important...

Do you ever wonder why relationships fail? Why marriages fall apart? Why kids run away? I know I have and I have come to a conclusion. It isn't a pretty one. I believe that it's because we have lost sight of what's really important in life. Is it the paycheck or is it your family? Is it the promotion or is it taking care of your kids? I have seen kids raise themselves, have kids and become a statistic in the system.

So the question is: what's really important? I believe that the key to all relationships, whether it be marriages, boyfriend/girlfriend, or interpersonal relations, is understanding, not respect, love, trust, or even patience, but it's understanding. Why? Because if you understand one another, there isn't anything that can't be overcome or accomplished.

I'll leave the rest up to you to think about... Find out what's really important....

Unification vs. Conformity

As a people, regardless of color, we all come to a point in our lives when we have to make a choice of whether we will unify or conform to the society of the day. I was sitting in church when the pastor informed us that we have to make a choice. I didn't understand until the service was over and I walked out. When the disciples were together in the upper room, they were on one accord with doing God's work, and they were blessed. So what will happen if we are on one accord with God or even on one accord with our fellow man? Will life be easier or will there be more problems?

Many people have chosen to conform to the ways of what they see around them: conforming to the oppression that we put on one another, the heartaches that we administer to one another, the misunderstandings and all the others that come with non-unification. How much stronger would we be if we just unified, if we were on one accord with our co-workers, spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends, kids, peers. This world would have another spin altogether: less people in jail, less children having kids, less sins happening because as we concur with each other and we are unified, we are ultimately unified with God.

So, make your choice: will you unify or will you conform..........

How deep should love flow?

How far should our hearts extend to accommodate the emotions and fluctuations of another human being? Should you destroy your hopes and dreams for the love of another? Is love that crucial? I believe it is, but not under all of the circumstances. Love can and will flow deep, but not at the cost of one's sanity. The situation has fallen into my lap many a time, and my sanity has suffered extensively, but that's because the love in my heart runs deep and the source can't be affected. God has kept my mind in this world and His love has begun my healing. So, be weary of when you aren't sure if your love is being reciprocated. Keep the love of God in your heart and keep the significant other in check about the amount of love they show, whether its too much or too little. The pain that you might endure and/or inflict will let you know if your love runs deep.....

Faithful, even when we are unfaithful

His love for us doesn't end.... Never ends even when we don't listen, when we don't care to understand, when we don't repent... He loves us, cares for us, protects us, and forgives us. We don't do anything to deserve what He dishes out, but He does so anyway. I'm happy that Jesus has so much love in His heart for us that He loves and forgives us for what we have done, will do, and what we will continue to do because of our sinful nature. Like the song says, " He is faithful, faithful to me."